J (Mr.) is 12yrs old, and the epitomy of a pre-teen. Up until he turned 12, he constantly stressed out over when he'll be a pre-teen... "mom, I'm a pre-teen!".. No, I'd reply...you're a pre-pre-teen... lol Everything is so black and white when you're that age... it's amazing.
Sometimes, I wish that I could do more for him, do better by him... I know that he's frustrated, living here, wishing he could be at his "weekend dads" house... having to put up with his little brother, who, by any standards, is the most frustrating child in the world. Hands down. I can only imagine how angry he gets when it's the end of the night, and it's 'time to hug your brother' and he has to be very careful of how he holds himself, or, watch out... L.S. will punch you... and has.
When I can (which, admittedly is not as often as I'd like) I hang out with him after L.S. goes to sleep... we'll work on his homework/school projects, or just, well, hang. Sometimes we're talking about important things, but usually it's just so I can spend time with him.
The other night, he had his science project that was due on Friday (it was Wed) and he was half-assing it big time. I told him that I'd come in and help, once I got L.S. to sleep... unfortunately, it was a LATE night for Ray, and when I finally got out of bed after getting him to sleep, it was 11:49 and Jamal was OUT... So the next morning, I just HAPPENED to be awake at 6:30 when J woke up, and I offered to help then. He got the display board, and literally was just writing on it w/a sharpie pen, or writing on lined notebook paper and gluing it to the board. I came in, and instantly my crafty/mom side woke up, and wanted to help. I got out some construction paper, scissors that cut wavy designs, and got to work. He decided on a project that, as he put it "didn't require any experiments, since I know I couldn't do them at home anyway" (Unfortunately, he's right...with L.S.' 'issues' it's hard to do anything, but something like an experiment? no, nope, no way, nuh-uh) So he chose 'bubbles'. Yes, bubbles. Like, blow bubbles, soap bubbles...bubbles. His hypothesis was that nothing else could make bubbles but soap & water. :)
So I tried to get him to be a little creative...but alas, he cares not for science, so he went the easiest route that he possibly could. I encouraged him to add in cool stuff, like recipes for bubbles and ivory soap in the microwave bubbles (that was COOL when I found it online... you take a bar of ivory soap, put it on a towel and put it in the microwave for a few minutes. What happens, is that the bar begins to bubble, until it's all 'melted' but bubbles. It will fill your entire microwave... once the bubbles pop & cool, it apparently makes a pretty cool soap design thing.) but he balked and told me that he probably wouldn't have enough room.
Come 7:30, he has to walk out the door because his dad had arrived (his dad picks him up every morning to take him to school because he doesn't qualify for transportation because we live exactly 1.89 miles from school.. and they only transport if you live 2 miles away. WHAT???) So we rushed to put away his stuff, I gave him the websites I found the information on, and off he went. He stays over at his grandmas every Thursday, and she takes him to school, so I still don't know what came of his project...
He also stays at his fathers from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 7pm. (It's supposed to be 6pm, but his father can't seem to get it together, and stated that he can't bring him until 7...but usually, it's more like 8 when he finally arrives.) This is great for Jamal, since he has a chance to see his father and get away from his brother. Plus, he has a new brother that's a year old now @ his dad's house, so apparently that's fun for him... even though he complains that he cries all the time, that his dad isn't there much to be with him and he get's tired of hearing his dad & his girlfriend fight. oh well...can't have everything!!! lol
J is lucky that, in my opinion, at 12 he has no household chores that he's responsible for. His responsibility is to keep his brother company from 3:30ish pm (except on Mondays, when he has Grafitti art after school, and doesn't get home on the bus until 5:30-yes, they transport him for that...)until 7ish when we get L.S. ready for bed. I, personally, think that's a marvelous deal, considering that, at his age, I was responsible for cleaning half the house. My bedroom was obvious. Then, me and my sister had the house split. One got the living room, dining room and upstairs bathroom while the other got the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom. Because she was partial to doing the kitchen (dishes were pretty easy for her, and we didn't have a dishwasher...) and I preferred the vacuuming, we pretty much kept to those same duties. But every day, you had to get them done. or else. I remember on several occasions, I tried half-assing the vacuuming... HA! mom & Lonnie got me... They'd pull out a box of baking powder, and sprinkle it around the WHOLE house..under couches, tables, the piano, in cracks and groves... then say, vacuum. Yup... While it was actually kind of fun doing it that way (I could see where I'd been, plus, I could make designs) it got tiring having to move furniture.
anyway, I still think that J gets away with a lot. And I wish I could spend more time with him.
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